Surrender

"Because we rarely change until the pain we feel exceeds our fear of change. We don't change when we see the light; we change when we feel the heat."


I've been grappling for what amounts to years now with my current job situation. Miserable, apathetic, disgusted is just some of the words that could describe my state of mind when I'm at work. Through it, I've tried to make it better using my own strength. I've prayed too. Sometimes to help me make it work but more often to get me the heck out of there. I have never been able to figure out if it's me or "them" that's the cause of my unhappiness. But it really doesn't matter.


More recently I've considered the possibility that there's something God is trying to teach me in this situation and that I'm not going to come out of this until it's learned. So what to do?


Pray. Pray. And Pray some more. I've decided that I'm going to pour out prayer over this. I'm going to relinquish any notion that it's under my control and I'm going to give it to HIM. ALL of it. I have to leave my pride at the door. I need to be a servant. I need to be o.k. with failure or less than perfection. And most importantly I need to remember who I serve each and every day when I sit down at my desk. I serve a mighty God. I believe that there is still a chance to salvage something great out of my time working there. HE will make it so.