Got that song in my head now

I should be overjoyed that my 3 yr old wants to hear the christmas song he and his friends will be singing at our church's christmas event this year. And well, I am. But wow, you listen to it over and over on a 30 min commute and well that kind of sticks in your subconscious all day.

Jesus reigns,
I will praise Him.
Jesus reigns,
I will praise Him.
I'll share the thunder,
And tell of His wonder,
That Jesus reigns,
oh-oh-oh-oh---
Jesus reigns.

I'm crossing my fingers that this year he won't just stand on the stage and not say a word.

What's up?

I just seem like I'm going through a dry spell. Not feeling the tug to get into His word. Not praying. Just kind of being. Kinda coasting. I don't quite like it.

Thanks for those words Lysa

"For when God's Word gets inside of us, it becomes the new way we process life. It rearranges our thoughts, our motives, our needs, and our desires. Our soul was tailor-made to be filled with God and His truth, therefore, it seeps into every part of us and fills us completely." -- Lysa TerKeurst @ Proverbs 31 ministries

I simply can't imagine life without God. I've been a bible-reading gal since a young teenager. It's unimaginable who I would be without His stamp on my life. It's something deep inside of me, it's who I truly am. Even though I stumble and fail, I always know I can dust myself off and humbly know He is there with open, forgiving arms.

Life living...away from the computer

I'm psyched up to start nurturing those relationships I hold so dear. I'm determined to become more conscious in "connecting". This means not sending an email but picking up the phone. This means not taking your relationships with your family for granted and following through with making that date. This means not just having time for "good" in response to "how are you?", but rather really wanting to know what's going on in that person's life. This means being vulnerable at times. This means being willing to face disagreement and the stickiness of relationships.

Ahhh ... growth

I had a moment at work today that I caught myself in such a state of stress and anxiety. But I repeat, I caught myself. And I said to me, "Just let it go. You don't need to let this situation control your reaction. You can choose to say, 'this will be ok'". Alright, maybe it wasn't that eloquent of self-talk. But definitely I had that "you have a choice" moment. And it was liberating.

Unfinished Business

A while back I made the decision to stop my journey to a bachelor's degree. I allowed myself to get off course and off focus. These days it's often on my mind. I ask myself, "How in the world am I going to finish?". But more importantly, years apart from when I started, "How have my goals changed and what do I want to do now?". I can't help but wonder if pursuing this is just what I need to reclaim some of me.

Originally I wanted to be a teacher of the deaf. But more than that, I loved sign language. There is a disappointment in myself that I didn't master sign language. Something that remains the same from the start is that I still have that fascination for this language and a desire to use and express myself in this language.

I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm trying to figure it out.

Surrender

"Because we rarely change until the pain we feel exceeds our fear of change. We don't change when we see the light; we change when we feel the heat."


I've been grappling for what amounts to years now with my current job situation. Miserable, apathetic, disgusted is just some of the words that could describe my state of mind when I'm at work. Through it, I've tried to make it better using my own strength. I've prayed too. Sometimes to help me make it work but more often to get me the heck out of there. I have never been able to figure out if it's me or "them" that's the cause of my unhappiness. But it really doesn't matter.


More recently I've considered the possibility that there's something God is trying to teach me in this situation and that I'm not going to come out of this until it's learned. So what to do?


Pray. Pray. And Pray some more. I've decided that I'm going to pour out prayer over this. I'm going to relinquish any notion that it's under my control and I'm going to give it to HIM. ALL of it. I have to leave my pride at the door. I need to be a servant. I need to be o.k. with failure or less than perfection. And most importantly I need to remember who I serve each and every day when I sit down at my desk. I serve a mighty God. I believe that there is still a chance to salvage something great out of my time working there. HE will make it so.

A start

I'm amazed and terrified that I'm going to give this a go. Beginnings usually are easy though, at least for me. It's the journey that trips me up a lot.